My Life's One Desire

For I »must« do the will of God, not my own will. ♥️John 6:38♥️

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Praise the Lord

The other day, a sister in the Lord sent me a link to read about praising the Lord. I was so thankful for it, but little did I know the Lord would use it later on in the day.

I was on my way to town with my Mom as she was sharing a deep conversation with me. My mind was distracted. I was thinking more about what she was saying than what I was doing. When I saw the turn I thought I had to make, I signalled to get into the right lane. Behind me, was a car some distance a way yet, but still coming closer at a steady speed.

I hoped they would understand my need of getting into the right lane so I could turn but when I did they were upset and honked their horn several times and being too sensitive of a person I pulled into the turning lane to go left, but as I was turning another vehicle was there from the right. Overwhelmed, I didn't know what to do. The guy motioned with his hands for me to go, so I stepped on the gas, but I felt so silly and sad inside.

I didn’t feel like praising at all. The stories Mom had said were spinning in my head while I was feeling bad for cutting someone off. The tears came especially when I found out it wasn’t even the right turn. Praise God the tears didn’t last long but He allowed this to make me realize how weak I am. I didn’t feel like praising, I felt like crying, hoping Mom would feel sorry for me.

I wiped the little tears away and hurried into the store with Mom. The Lord helped me to see my weakness and I had a desire not to leave any room in my heart for the enemy, but I failed to look to Him for strength to be obedient and praise Him.

He reminded me then of the very link this sister had sent, and I knew I couldn't praise Him without His help, but I wanted to praise Him. The more I tried the more I realized I could not.

On our way back from the store we had been in, He gave me the strength to look to Him for strength and as I did, I was reminded of His goodness, His love, all that He has been doing in my heart.
Joy started bubbling up from within me like I could not imagine and I was so thankful. He brings us to breaking points to see our great need for Him and to help us turn to Him when nothing else would ever be able to help us.

I truly desire to grow in first time obedience and going to Him sooner for His strength and His kindness from now on. Why do I not obey sooner? I think it is because I still have my will and even though I see that I am weak I can still struggle, trying to do it on my own. As He allows these situations, He is showing me so clearly, I cannot make it without Him and must go to Him alone for strength and no one else. He doesn't want me to want strength from others to comfort me, but from Him alone. For then only, will I have true joy.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." -Philippians 4:4

It is a promise, He will fulfill it, if we earnestly seek Him, believing that it will be done according to His word.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017


 "Jesus replied, ‘Go back and report to John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.’" {Matthew 11:4-6}
 When John was doubting, he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if He was the one to come. Jesus tells him that all these people are healed fully and the good news is being preached to the poor {those who have a need}.

Only those who are poor can truly see how much they need Jesus. As Jesus already said in Matthew five, "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God."

If you are rich, the good news will not be preached to you. If you have no need for God, if you think you have it all, and you are not poor in spirit, you don't need the good news. It is only for the hungry, empty, poor, for those who are earnestly seeking, they will find Him.

Then Jesus goes on to say, "There is no one greater than John the Baptist, but the least in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he." The one who continually puts himself last, and God first. Who continually sees himself as he truly is, {not as dirt, but as a servant, needing God always to mould him into the shape He wants}. The one who puts his agenda last, and seeking that in everything God and His will, will be first.

"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence, and violent people have been raiding it. For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John. And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come. Whoever has ears, let them hear." {Matthew 11:12-14}

Are we forcefully taking hold of the kingdom of heaven? If people from the past have violently taken ahold of this life, then why shouldn't we all the more? We cannot serve ourselves and God, whoever has ears to hear let him hear. Do we truly desire to obey Him seeking to please Him above everything? If we are poor in spirit, He will satisfy us. He will come through and not disappoint us.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Little Desires

"‘Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." {Matthew 10:37-39}

As I was reading this, I was challenged in a new way. The weekend, drawing nearer was bringing exciting plans. I really hoped they were going to turn out. However, the Lord was asking me, "Do you love Me more than these little desires of yours?"

Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me, is not worthy of Me. Those words are strong. They are not lightly given, yet don't we often take them so lightly? I often want to know what my parents think about what I do. If they are not happy with me, I want to find a way to make them happy. I am missing something completely, the Lord wants me to please Him, not trying to make people happy with me. This root of pride and selfishness also must be given up to Him.

When the Lord brought up about loving Him more than my own plans, my own hopes for the future or for what it might bring, I also saw this needs to be rooted out of my heart. "Anyone who does not love Me more than their exciting plans, or their own agenda, their goals for the future...ect, is not worthy of Me." This gripped my heart. I saw I was more excited to do my own thing, and more hopeful it would turn out well.

Praise God when He brings up these areas in our hearts, revealing our little desires, He can conform them into what He is desiring for. He can cause us to love Him more than anything else, anyone else and take up our cross and follow Him. By His grace, we can deny ourselves, our plans, our goals and love Him more. He is truly rewarding as we leave all else behind. He will never disappoint us. Are we willing to give up even our little desires, our little exciting plans for His? If we love them more than He, we are not worthy of Him.

If we are not willing to lose our self life, our soulish way of doing things, we will lose our life. Rather, if we are willing to lose our self life, for Him and whatever plans He has for us, we will find His true life in us.

I can honestly say, when we are willing to give up our own plans, and seek Him only, He is enough. He satisfies the longing heart. We must truly love Him above all else. It doesn't mean we may not carry through with the plans, in the end they turned out more exciting than I had thought and through them the Lord had to teach me His ways. We must be willing to listen to what He has for us in it all.

Put yourself last, always  be seeking for the ways to put Him first and in your relationships with others to put Him first. It can be challenging, I know, to always point others to Christ. Life can be distracting with all the little desires. Nevertheless, He does help us by His grace, and He gives us power in our weakest moments so that as we go through them, if we ask Him for help, He will help us! As we draw nearer to Him, He will draw nearer to us. He will whisper things, turning our focus back on Him. He will wait sometimes, until we are broken, before He can change us and mould us. Then He can do His mighty work in us when we are willing to surrender and love Him more than father, mother, brothers or sisters. More than their opinions of us, more than their ideas, more than our ideas, our self life, our desires they all must be given up. Then we can follow Him and live a life, worthy of the calling.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

When He is Near

The only way heaven
Could ever come to earth in my heart
The only way life could be
Somewhat perfect
Would be to surrender
Myself completely
To enjoy whatever my Lord
Desires to send my way
To find His joy through each trial
Finding Him near me
Right beside me as I follow His path
He walked it first
Yet now calls us to live it also
Not alone, no never alone
Unless I try to make myself big
He will not be near
Only if abiding in Him will He
Always be near
Oh to store up treasures with Jesus
Through each mundane moment
And each challenging one
If myself tried to take His place
I will find He has departed
Only when I give myself up
He is near to me
Only if I am empty
Will He fill to the uttermost
Only if I surrender each day
He will be a part of this journey
If I seek to please Him in love
His love will be evident
If I depend on feelings or man
I will not depend upon Him
He who desires all my love
Desires I walk hand in hand with Him
He longs for me to overcome
More than I could ever imagine
If only I'll trust Him each moment
In every pain, trial, suffering
Shall His strength uphold me
To suffer with Him on His cross
My self denied, my life emptied
His glory fulfilled His life abundant
It's not enough to hope
But to know, He who promised is faithful
He will bring it to pass
He called me up to Himself
To go up higher
To have His Spirit of love
Power and sound mind
That the Spirit of fear may be rooted out
His life will be radiant
Glowing from the deepest wells
Overflowing by His Spirit
Whenever the anxieties of life
Turn my eyes away from Him
Oh Lord may I pray
Save me!
He will quickly come to rescue
His grace is sufficient
He is able to save
Increase my faith I cry
More trials, temptations afflictions
Flood my path
Yet His love is past understanding
His ways are beyond finding out
He wants me to trust Him
Depending upon Him for dear life
That I will obey even in this flood
Humble myself and see
The only good in me is from He
Who fills His life from deep within
He is the only One
Who is good
These words do not describe
How marvellous He is
All that has been done which is good
Has been done
By His works alone
No man can boast
For there is none who are good
Not even one
No one who understands
what it would be like
to not be tempted by sin
He is the only One
Who will never even
glance at it with joy.
Even despite a wolf inside
He allows us to also
Have a growing hatred
for sin like He does.
If only we hate it
will it become tasteless.
Only by His power
will we partake into His Divine Nature
Shall we not go on from here?
Shall we not seek the higher things?
To see life from His perspective
To be filled with Him from our deepest
To overflow with love for Him
Oh Father may we never ever loose
Deep love, reverencing fear
For you alone
Are truly worthy

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Are We Empty?

If we are cleaned and empty inside, we are worse off than we were at first. {Luke 11:25}

Has God been speaking to you about something? Blessed are they who hear Him speaking and obey Him. {Luke 11:28}

I was listening to this, and found it so challenging for my life. Imagine, we may be completely empty, yet the Holy Spirit is not dwelling within us. He shares seven spirits that are worse than having our inner being filled with, than the worldly one He already cleansed us from. I never thought of this before, but it truly struck my heart, I needed to post it here so I can always find it. Perhaps I will add some more notes that stuck out to me, but for now - please take time to listen.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Are We Truly Seeking Him?

“"Cry aloud; do not hold back; lift up your voice like a trumpet; declare to my people their transgression, to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet they seek me daily and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that did righteousness and did not forsake the judgment of their God; they ask of me righteous judgments; they delight to draw near to God.

» Let us ask ourselves this question: are we also claiming to seek God? If yes, are we seeking to please Him in love, in righteousness desiring to draw near to God? Are we doing things for God thinking He sees it not? Are we doing it to appear God or because we love Him?

 'Why have we fasted, and you see it not? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?' Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure, and oppress all your workers.

»When we pray are we seeking our own pleasure? Are we seeking Him out of a heart which is proud, praying only because we know it is right and for the honour of others, but not spending time alone in prayer because we love Jesus so much? Are we trying to spend what we get on ourselves? Our comforts, our pleasures? (James 4)

Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to hit with a wicked fist. Fasting like yours this day will not make your voice to be heard on high. Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself?

» Note here how it says "one day to humble himself". Are we praying, asking God for many things and then continuing on in our lives proud as we were before praying only for our own desires?

Is it to bow down his head like a reed, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will you call this a fast, and a day acceptable to the Lord?

» this is a picture, all outward here focusing on the things you do thinking by so doing you will manage to make it by. Is this truly humbling yourself to pray??

 "Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

» now that we are in the new covenant which is focused on spiritual truths, let us try to see this from His perspective. In Matthew 11, Jesus says, "Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest for your (soul) life. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am » humble « and gentle in heart and you will find rest for your soul." If we are bound by wickedness and the yoke of pleasing other people and trying to live up to the new standards on our own, we would need to spend time truly humbling ourselves, seeking for His help to free us from the yoke to wickedness so we might have His yoke (if we go to Him) if we are oppressed and discouraged, He wants us to go free putting His home on, having a heart emptied of ourselves yet full of His burden. It goes on to, sharing bread with others. To share the word God has spoken to us with those who are pour in spirit; who see their need of Him. Those who are willing also to listen. They may not be perfect but if they are poor, hungry, needing encouragement should we not share what the Father has given us? To cover others shame is also important. Brothers and sisters, we often try to "uncover" people because this trap is easy to fall into yet we should seek to cover each other in love, being patient and bearing with each other in love. Where there is room for that, if they no longer want to repent from rebellion we should warn them if they listen not, we should seek to show them Gods love, but also be careful. For we too do not want to fall into that trap {Galatians 6:1} If there are areas of our life stained by the flesh we shouldn't try to hide them but hating the clothing stained by the flesh {Jude 1:23} we out to be careful seeking God humbly to wear His righteousness alone.

Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

» Praise God! It is then after we seek to free others from bondage and ourselves, fully seeking to please God — His light will shine in and through us! He will heal us from our spiritual ares to bring us to life in Him where we are completely empty of ourselves and full of His life, healing from sin. And the rest is just as encouraging, we will have His righteousness and His glory will be manifest.

Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.

» Have You heard Him? Have you heard His voice say, "Here I am?" Are we breaking the yokes we have set perhaps for other people? Are we letting them seek God for His yoke and His burden; His life? Are we pouring ourselves out for others? Are they more important than ourselves? I pray so. I want to grow in this.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.

» He will satisfy my desire, He will be enough for me. Where sin has torn things down, He will build then up in love. He will guide us continually! He will give us water we need to live, His Holy Spirit these living waters flowing from within our innermost being. Let us seek Him for these things and not for our own pleasures.

"If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."”

According to Hebrews, the people of Israel failed to enter this rest. This Sabbath rest. Now God has set a new day {Hebrews 3} calling it "Today" — "Today if you hear His voice, harden not your heart." Do we hear Him speaking, will we obey? Or will we seek our own pleasure? Everyday, He desires us to seek His will and be filled with His Spirit, rather than humbling ourselves for a day to pray for our own wants.
He desires we enter into His new Sabbath Rest — those who do not doubt Him and follow where He leads will enter, if we do not seek our own. I see in these verses how much the Lord doesn't like it when we seek our own.
Let's not harden our hearts and seek to please Him in everything. Amen
Isaiah 58:1-14

Friday, March 3, 2017

They Gave Up Their Own Way

The disciples were changed when they received the Holy Spirit — their way of life was different. They didn't need to go to bible school and try to learn many theological words* — but they were given the Promised Seal* the Holy Spirit,  of whom Peter said in Acts is given to those who obey Jesus. {And we are witnesses to these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him. Acts 5:32}
The disciples had chosen Years before to follow Jesus. They left everything to follow Him. They had already made up their mind that He was who they wanted to follow. {Mark 1:18}
They tried following Him but when He died it all seemed hopeless. {And Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ Mark 14:27} They gave up, leaving Jesus. Have you ever been through a time you thought everything was completely hopeless? Something happened and you felt like giving up? The disciples did too. They hadn't received the Spirit yet, but they decided to return to their old life. They went together back to fishing. It wasn't necessarily bad, but they were giving up following Jesus to death because they hadn't fully given up everything of the world. Back in their hearts there was something still slightly clinging onto this "last resort if something goes wrong", yet that didn't even work. Jesus had even appeared to them before this, yet they were ready to go back to their old life. {Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. John 21:3}
Have you been there?
They tried ALL night.
Have you strived so much, you wouldn't even sleep?
Then they were by morning out of it, completely distraught. Jesus knew this is what they needed; to fully come to the end of their own way of doing things so they would be willing to fully go His Way.
Jesus called out to them, and they knew it was the Lord. Right away Peter left and swam back to shore.
It was during this meal the Lord asked Peter these deep questions, "Do You really love me?" He asked Peter three times.
Peter was cut to his heart. Do we love Him, how much do we really love Him? Are we willing to give up even the little strings we have attached to the world and its system? To knowledge, comforts and that which the world regards highly? It's no value to Him.
Are we willing to obey where He has called us?
We must fully surrender everything to Him in order to follow.
Then after He leaves the disciples enter a time of waiting.
Have you been there? Waiting. You don't know how long. Praying while you wait, "Lord I need you! I see I cannot go through this life on my own, with head knowledge...I need you Jesus!"
They waited. They didn't know when the Holy Spirit would come. But He came, and what a change happened then in their lives. {Acts 2:1}
They were given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind! {2 Timothy 1:7} They were still being changed from glory to glory by the Holy Spirit living within them— but had been obeying Jesus, they had been following Him; now filled with His Spirit these men who — did not even attend the Bible Schools of those times, were given power and understanding from Gods HEART.
Shouldn't this be what we seek too? Paul prays for the Ephesians in the first chapter — that the Lord would give them for the Spirit to give them wisdom and revelation so they may know Him better. {Ephesians 1:17-23} He prayed for the eyes of their hearts to be open, He talks about the Mighty power that is the same power that rose Jesus from the dead — which is living in us, His Holy Spirit!
Do we believe? Have we come to the end of our own way? Are we willing to go His Way? Willing to surrender? To give up everything: even our own ways of how we think we might serve Him? Is there nothing of the world we are stop hanging into? Are we obeying in what we hear Him calling us to do today?
Let us seek to hear His voice, His Spirit — His power — He will help us. He will give us grace in our need. He is so loving and patient with us! But let us not seek to stay here, let us seek to go higher with our Lord, our Father. Let us trust Him with our lives, He knows best.
May our ears be sharp and ready to hear, our feet ready to follow the Lamb wherever He goes and to sing the new song no one can learn except those who are willing to work tried by fire, those who are willing to follow the Lord wherever He leads. Amen.
He will help us, His ways are wonderful. As we desire Him, He will draw near to us.

*2 Corinthians 1:22 ; Ephesians 1:13 ; Ephesians 4:30

*When the Council saw the boldness of Peter and John and could see that they were obviously uneducated non-professionals, they were amazed and realized what being with Jesus had done for them! Acts 4:13 TLB

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